Alison Spittle'S Saturday Secrets: Comedy, Onlyfans, And Father Wounds!

A Peek into Alison Spittle's Saturday Shenanigans

Hey there, gorgeous readers! Let’s sneak into a Saturday with the fabulously funny Alison Spittle, a comedian who flips the script on what a weekend should look like. While most of us are brunching or binging Netflix, Alison’s out there treating Saturday like a Tuesday - because, darling, a comic’s life is anything but 9-to-5.

Starting her day around 8:30 AM, Alison confesses that daylight is her ultimate alarm clock, no matter how late she’s been up gigging. She’s all about that slow morning vibe, but don’t expect her to be browsing IKEA for throw pillows - shopping? Not her scene. Instead, she’s whipping up the fanciest breakfast with whatever’s in her pantry. Talk about kitchen creativity!

With three weekends a month spent on the road, Alison’s basically a hotel connoisseur. She’s got her routine down to a science, even packing a lunch box for late-night snacks to get that bang for her buck. Channeling her inner Alan Partridge, she’s shamelessly stuffing goodies for an 11 PM munch. Who needs room service when you’ve got this level of sass?

Running, Rehearsing, and a Risqué OnlyFans Pivot

Parkrun Ponderings and Breakfast Blunders

By 9:30 AM, Alison’s lacing up for a parkrun near her house - well, at least once a month. She admits to dreaming about doing it weekly, but hey, thinking counts, right? She skips eating before her run and regrets it every time, yet still calls herself a breakfast enthusiast. We’re rooting for you, girl!

Her weekends might be unconventional, but they’re packed with prep for big things. Right now, she’s gearing up for her show Big at the Dublin Fringe, fresh off rave reviews from the Edinburgh Fringe. It’s a laugh-out-loud take on her journey of shrinking down physically while unpacking society’s harsh treatment of fat folks. Heavy stuff, delivered with a side of hilarity!

OnlyFans, but Make It Comedy

Now, hold onto your hats - Alison’s dipping her toes into OnlyFans, but not in the way you might think. The platform’s branching out into ‘non-horny’ content, and they’ve tapped comedians like her to record stand-up specials. It’s like opening a kebab shop next to a spicier business - unexpected, but it works!

“I got into comedy for the same reason a lot of folks join OnlyFans - let’s just say daddy issues run deep in both worlds,”

Alison quips with her signature biting humor. She sees the overlap in emotional baggage between the industries, and honestly, we’re here for this raw, cheeky honesty.

Midday Musings and Hate-Watching Bliss

By 12:30 PM, Alison’s unwinding with a guilty pleasure - hate-watching And Just Like That. She saved it for the Edinburgh Fringe to keep her sane amidst the chaos. And let’s talk about Che Diaz for a sec - while fans might’ve loathed the character’s nonbinary rep, Alison thinks they nailed the narcissistic comedian vibe. Savage!

She’s not shy about steering clear of dating fellow comics, giving major props to her partner for putting up with her. “I’d pin a medal on anyone who dates a comedian, including my guy,” she laughs. It’s this kind of self-awareness that makes her so relatable, don’t you think?

Evening Eats and Pre-Show Jitters

Dinner Dilemmas at 5 PM

Fast forward to 5 PM, and Alison’s facing the eternal comedian’s dilemma - to eat before a show or not? She’s learned the hard way that skipping meals (or eating cake for breakfast) isn’t just Mercury in retrograde messing with her. Now in her mid-30s, she’s reluctantly accepting the realities of blood sugar over horoscopes. Oh, how we feel that!

If she’s dining out, it’s an early bird special on Saturday - 5 PM sharp. Otherwise, it’s a Marks and Spencer haul of picky bits to last the weekend. Picture her in bed with cold bean salad and tuna. Sounds grim, but she’s living for it. Budgeting is key when comedy wages haven’t budged in decades - it’s all love, no riches.

Bath Bombs and B&B Drama

By 6 PM, it’s relaxation o’clock with a bath bomb (purpose unknown, but cute) and Four in the Bed on TV. Alison’s guilty pleasure? Scrolling TripAdvisor reviews of the featured B&Bs, giggling at fake outrage from viewers who clearly never stayed there. It’s petty, and we’re obsessed.

Her evening winds down with the weight of making someone’s Saturday night special. Touring means being the centerpiece of an audience’s big night out, and she doesn’t take that lightly. Whether it’s a club gig or a big show, she’s pouring her heart into those 20 minutes to leave them laughing.

Nighttime Laughs and Validation Vibes

At 9 PM, Alison’s in her element on stage, soaking up the energy of 200 strangers who’ve built their night around her. It’s a mix of responsibility and thrill - knowing they’ve taken a risk just to laugh. She’s determined to make it unforgettable, because not everyone catches comedy weekly.

That’s the magic of her gig - actively brightening someone’s weekend. But let’s be real, getting all her validation from a crowd nightly? “It can’t be good for me psychologically,” she admits with a wink. And yet, we can’t help but adore her for it. Alison Spittle, you’re our Saturday night hero!